Starting Anew

I had a tumblr account for my writings but once again failed to share what I wanted to share just like I did with my blogspot account. So, I made another blog, which is wordpress, to fulfill the promise that I’ll be indeed, sharing my works outside of Wattpad.

The reasons why I wasn’t able to do what I intended to do with my previous blogs was because of;

1. laziness
2. fear of people plagiarizing or stealing my works
3. laziness
4. getting distracted by other stuff (mainly, gaming and social life.)
5. laziness

But mainly, I was worrying about people who can steal my ideas. I love to read and write, and it is my hobby to write my own stories, and I would love to share it to other people and see what they think about it. I just don’t like the idea of one those people reading my works to steal it.

I decided to use WordPress for this purpose because it looks convenient and very neat to use, and despite the copyright issues, I seem to have a lot of trust on this site unlike with tumblr and Google’s blogspot. I do believe it’s easier to get plagiarized in tumblr, mainly though.

I’ll be making another blog for my stories. In wattpad, my username is ZMelia. Do check out my books. They are not that great, and I’m only an aspiring writer, so I apologize in advance if I lack skills in writing.

This blog would be mainly me posting about random topics; e.g., bits of my life, romance, opinions about certain topics, life problems, etc, etc.

To Post or not to Post..?

I have hesitated to post one of my stories, which was Passionate Ardor. It’s a very mature book of steamy one-shots of Mary and Neil, my favorite couple that I’ve created. I don’t know if such content can be posted publicly in my ZMelia wordpress. I might create another wordpress blog exclusively only for mature stories so only adults or 18+ readers can get to it (although I don’t know how I’ll be able to work that one out).

If it is okay to publish such things though, I might just do that. Or, if you guys still want to read my Rated R works, you can always head to my wattpad since I posted it there.

Speaking of mature stories, I have another book in the working for Mary and Neil. This time it wouldn’t be oneshots of them, but a real story with a plot and story line. Hopefully I won’t mess up with the new book because a lot of people seem to be expecting a lot from it.

Me2Day?

So, just five minutes ago, I made a Me2Day account (click here). It’s basically posting statuses, pictures, etc, etc. To make it short, it’s like the korean version of Twitter. If you are a fan of Kpop or you have a Me2Day account, add me!

I was able to create an account due to my Google Chrome‘s auto translation of the website. It’s actually quite awesome now that I feel closer with the kpop stars (laughs like an idiot).

Choose Me and A Knight’s Night, Posted!

Finally, after weeks of laziness, I managed to post the first chapter of both Choose Me and A Knight’s Night. If you haven’t read the description of the two stories head to here and here, respectively.

I’m not really confident with how I’ve written the first chapters, but for an amateur writer I sure am, at least, good enough.. Right?

Anyways, I’ve also posted the book cover I made along with the chapters. I didn’t make the image itself, I only edited it and added the text in the image. The A Knight’s Night book cover is credited to RioxRio from DevianArt.

Foolish Love

“I know you’re not going to read this, but please please, do so.  At least, for me.

T—, I’m sorry for everything. I’m sorry that I’m such an annoying needy girl. I don’t know what I did wrong, but I just wanted you to be happy.. I’m sorry that I can’t make you happy, I still want what’s the best for you. I really do love you, and I wish you knew how much I really do freaking love you. You really don’t know.. I just wanted to know what I did, when did you feel like you don’t love me anymore? What I lacked? I know that the distance thing is what’s making it difficult, if only we could webcam or if I could call you without being charged too expensive, it would have changed the way things are now. I just don’t understand what could have made you so distant and “far away”.. I’ve accepted all your faults and flaws, I always came back to you despite getting hurt and despite all the stuff that you did that hurt me. I only keep coming back to you cuz I really do love you.. Even tho I’m sure saying that would be meaningless now.. 

Know that whatever happens between us, I’d still be here for you. I’d still be here, cuz I do think that you are my real first love. You might say it’s silly and stupid of me, even tho we’ve never met in real life, but T—, once I fall in love, I really do fall hard. I’m truly loyal to you, even ask T—- and R——-, I’ve always defended you when some of the people I know try to badmouth you, because they can’t understand you the way I do.. I’m sorry that I get emotional, it’s just I’m scared of the thought you leaving me. Scared that the one thing I’ve wanted the most, I’m going to lose. You probably don’t even care what I’ve written this for, ignore it even. But please, don’t. At least read it. I know you’ve avoided to talk to me cuz I’ve been throwing countless questions at you, but that’s because I’m trying to understand with the sudden change of heart you had. Why suddenly you don’t feel the same way as I do for you. What I did wrong. 

Look, the point is.. I’m just sorry. You probably hate that I always say that, it’s just I’ve always felt that I’ll never be good enough for you. You know that I wanted to please you, that’s why I always listen to you when it comes to things, so that maybe I can be a bit more perfect for you. If you do decide to break up with me, I really really hope we can still be friends. I really don’t want to break contact with you. I still want to know how you’re doing, what’s going on in your life, I’ll be your best friend. I’ll listen. Just..don’t go. 

You may not know this, but I’ve built my present now just so it could prepare for the future for us, even though it’s highly unlikely now.. It’s just, I’ve done so much for you, T—, even if you don’t believe that, I have. I really have. I’m just hurting, I just can’t believe that you’re not even wearing the ring anymore.. Last month we were happy, married even, now it’s just..stuck in this. So I’m sorry. I want you happy, T—. It’s all that matters to me. I’ll love you always, no matter what happens.”

Choose Me

Choose Me was randomly inspired by an odd dream I had months ago. It was about me and my long distance relationship boyfriend. What was unusual for that dream was that my boyfriend were two people in the dream. Meaning, he had a twin in the dream. It was quiet appalling at first, but it also intrigued me. Then as I woke up, an idea abruptly came over me, and thus, Choose Me was born.

“An online relationship isn’t exactly as safe as it looks, but Dana Waters isn’t afraid. She’s convinced that Declan Lyons, a gorgeous boy who she met online, is her one and true love. Even though she lives in Australia and he lives in America, he proposed to her through a message that she immediately said yes to. Deciding to finally meet her future husband, what will she do when she finds out there were actually two Declan Lyons?”

I really had high hopes for this story that I’ve come up, but as I write each chapter, I have been having a hard time with the flow of the story. It’s quite frustrating really, I had everything perfectly planned in my brain, and yet when I’m about to type the chapter, everything becomes blank. I really need serious classes for writing.

So, I asked for help from my online best friend, ToniM213. I asked her to co-write the story with me, and since the story’s genre is romance and humor, it was a major thing to ask her, because both of us have a unique sense of humor, and adding that to the story will spice things up.

At first, I was happy again with how it all progressed, but after six chapters, I was yet again uninspired to continue on with the story. It was always my problem when it comes to writing. (Of course, this is one of the many reasons why I shouldn’t go for journalism.)

I was rather unhappy with the fact that I have shared the story in my account, when in fact Tonia has also written almost half of the chapters. So, I decided to make another account in wattpad to also give credit to my bestfriend.

How we co-write is through Google Document. It is a very convenient tool for those authors who wants to co-write with other people who doesn’t live close to them. I find it very helpful, and it helped me heaps with brainstorming with Tonia too.

As for the style of writing, I don’t even know what to say. Tonia makes my writing style better by editing as I type the rough draft of the chapter, so I guess my writing is, again, mediocre. Why oh why can’t I write beautifully?! (I bet I have mistakes even in this post.)

A Night’s Knight ~ Fantasy

A Night’s Knight is the second fantasy romance book I posted in Wattpad when I hesitated writing my very personal and first fantasy I’ve created, which was the A Tall to Tell saga. I actually don’t know how I started with ANK’s plotline. I only started the story due to the reason I was bored and my profile was empty that time since ANK was the first books I shared in Wattpad.

“Who would have thought waking one day will change your life? A normal teenager wakes up to a surreal vivid dream, meeting a mysterious man who she thought was only part of her imagination. Caught up with the dream, she begins creating a fantasy and tells stories of adventures. A similar dream visited her on her sleep, but gave her the most frightening experience. She stops her storytelling when an unexpected turn of events occur; her stories becoming true. She finds herself in a middle of protecting mother earth, fighting friends and befriending foes. Barely saving her own life, will the mysterious man finally appear and aid her?”

This was the blurb I had for my ANK. I was never really satisfied with it but never had the time to change it since the plot I had is still unstable. This story I considered a challenge because of the fact that I have no absolute plot for it and could only continue on writing chapter by chapter by creating the story line as each chapter was written.

So far, I’ve thought of the main conflict of the story, and how it should all played out. I only have a problem with how to write the filler chapters in and how each chapter will flow the story perfectly. I also don’t have any idea how I should end the story.

In fact, I’ve been so stumped that I haven’t updated ANK since December. I have six chapters up already, which is a good thing at least.

Moving on to the style of writing, to simply put; I suck. I don’t understand why I can fix and edit someone else’s work perfectly and yet when I write my own stories, I have a hard time dealing with it, especially fantasy-based ones. I guess my writing style and skills for ANK was mediocre, but I’m glad there are people who paid attention to it.