Tag Archives: love

Foolish Love

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“I know you’re not going to read this, but please please, do so.  At least, for me.

T—, I’m sorry for everything. I’m sorry that I’m such an annoying needy girl. I don’t know what I did wrong, but I just wanted you to be happy.. I’m sorry that I can’t make you happy, I still want what’s the best for you. I really do love you, and I wish you knew how much I really do freaking love you. You really don’t know.. I just wanted to know what I did, when did you feel like you don’t love me anymore? What I lacked? I know that the distance thing is what’s making it difficult, if only we could webcam or if I could call you without being charged too expensive, it would have changed the way things are now. I just don’t understand what could have made you so distant and “far away”.. I’ve accepted all your faults and flaws, I always came back to you despite getting hurt and despite all the stuff that you did that hurt me. I only keep coming back to you cuz I really do love you.. Even tho I’m sure saying that would be meaningless now.. 

Know that whatever happens between us, I’d still be here for you. I’d still be here, cuz I do think that you are my real first love. You might say it’s silly and stupid of me, even tho we’ve never met in real life, but T—, once I fall in love, I really do fall hard. I’m truly loyal to you, even ask T—- and R——-, I’ve always defended you when some of the people I know try to badmouth you, because they can’t understand you the way I do.. I’m sorry that I get emotional, it’s just I’m scared of the thought you leaving me. Scared that the one thing I’ve wanted the most, I’m going to lose. You probably don’t even care what I’ve written this for, ignore it even. But please, don’t. At least read it. I know you’ve avoided to talk to me cuz I’ve been throwing countless questions at you, but that’s because I’m trying to understand with the sudden change of heart you had. Why suddenly you don’t feel the same way as I do for you. What I did wrong. 

Look, the point is.. I’m just sorry. You probably hate that I always say that, it’s just I’ve always felt that I’ll never be good enough for you. You know that I wanted to please you, that’s why I always listen to you when it comes to things, so that maybe I can be a bit more perfect for you. If you do decide to break up with me, I really really hope we can still be friends. I really don’t want to break contact with you. I still want to know how you’re doing, what’s going on in your life, I’ll be your best friend. I’ll listen. Just..don’t go. 

You may not know this, but I’ve built my present now just so it could prepare for the future for us, even though it’s highly unlikely now.. It’s just, I’ve done so much for you, T—, even if you don’t believe that, I have. I really have. I’m just hurting, I just can’t believe that you’re not even wearing the ring anymore.. Last month we were happy, married even, now it’s just..stuck in this. So I’m sorry. I want you happy, T—. It’s all that matters to me. I’ll love you always, no matter what happens.”